Regrets
by PardoxPixie
Summary: What if Bella was prevented from going to Italy to save Edward? And Edward was destroyed by the Volturi? Their love was so strong it may be her death too! She has only hours left to say goodbye b4 Ed pulls her to the otherside, what to say to Charlie?
1. 1: Jacob's Plan

Disclaimer: I own _Twilight_. And **Harry Potter**. And Star Wars. And I'm a _Vulcan_. And you can't sue me because I'm traveling in the TARDIS. Now let's thank their creators for allowing us to play with their toys.

A/N: This idea came to me when I read _Reading__ New Moon*_. When Reading-Edward asked Reading-Alice why book-Alice took Bella to Italy R-Alice mentions something about "If Bella knew Edward was gone, I don't think she would be alive anymore". That got me thinking and soon this story was born.

Summary: What if something (or some**one**, the who comes from the movie) _had_ stopped Bella from going to save her Edward? And it killed her? And though originally a one-shot (shudders) it spiraled into this.

The Point Of View will be shifting from chapter to chapter.

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**Chapter 1: Jake's Plan**

Jacob POV

Bella lay sleeping on her couch. I was thankful I happened to get to her in time- I shuddered to think what might have happened had I arrived even a second later to that cliff. What in the world had she been thinking jumping on a day like this? And from that top cliff no less! It certainly was a chore keeping this girl safe from harm. It had been about a day since the incident, and she was still really worn out. I had come over here to make sure she was alright- both from the near drowning and the crazy red-headed bloodsucker that was after her. Charlie was at Harry Clearwater's funeral.

I got up to fetch a glass of water so I could have it ready for Bella when she woke up. The phone rang just as I entered the kitchen. I grabbed it before it could wake Bella.

"Swan residence," I said in a polite tone.

"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, may I please speak to Charlie?" came the response from the caller. I was furious. How dare any of them contact her after what they had done? After hurting her so badly?

"He's not here," I said in an icy tone that clearly told him his call was unwelcome.

"Where is he then?" Cullen asked. He sounded very impatient for some unfathomable reason. _Stupid leeches._ I had no idea why he wanted to talk to Charlie so bad, but it made me angry. They had no right to be here, to even call here anymore. They had left Bella broken and vulnerable. If the pack had not been here to protect her she'd already be dead- or worse. And it was possible that a few months ago she would not have minded the former. I shuddered again and tried to shove the thought of what Bella was like last fall away.

I paused- debating whether or not to answer him and whether or not to answer honestly. Finally I said, "He's at the funeral." The only response I received was a click signaling that the bloodsucker had hung up. That's rude; can't these filthy leeches even _pretend_ to have manners?

Not even three minutes later the phone rang again. I was still stewing about the stupid leech in the kitchen, knowing that I had to calm down before I went back to Bella. I didn't need to go and lose control and phase while I was right next to her. "Hello," I practically barked into the phone I spoke so sharply.

"I need to speak to Bella, now!" came a high pitched voice form the other end. She sounded frantic and I could hear the sound of air passing the speaker; the caller was running _very_ fast- too fast to be human I thought.

"She's sleeping and I'm not waking her right now. Who's calling?" I asked my voice still sharp. I had a feeling I wouldn't like this caller. Her voice was too melodious, too perfect, too _inhuman_.

"I'm Alice Cullen and this is an emergency! Wake Bella now, please! We don't have much time to stop him! She is the only one who can get to him and the only one that he'll believe. Please!" She sounded even more upset now. Cullen! Another one. Wish they would stay away. Damn Vampires.

"I'm _not_ waking her; she's recovering from an accident. So do you want to leave a _message_?" I said through gritted teeth. I wasn't sure I'd give Bella the message, but to appease the stupid bloodsucker and stop her from calling back later and upsetting Bella, I'd take the message.

"Her _life_ is at stake! If he succeeds in getting himself killed _she. Will. Die_! I can't lose either of them – never mind both!" was she hysterical now? No, these leeches had no feelings for anyone but themselves and their mates. No matter what Bella might have once thought, if they could leave her like that it _proved_ how monstrous they were. But still, there was something in her voice that sounded real.

I wasn't certain about the cause of the leech's hysteria or the chain of events she had described. I did understand one thing though, and it was that she said Bella's life was at stake. Bella had told me that one Alice Cullen could see the future, and as much as I couldn't trust the Cullens I'd better at least listen. "Explain, quickly!"

"Edward thinks that Bella is dead. He can't live without her and is going to get himself killed. The only way he can do that is to go to Italy and provoke a powerful coven that will kill him. Therefore we have time to stop him. If he dies, Bella will die. They're bonded. He doesn't realize that or he would _know_ she is alive! He won't believe me if I go to him; he won't believe anyone else in our family either because he knows we'll try to stop him either way! He'll only believe it if he _sees_ Bella!"

Stupid vampire. She thought that if her stupid "brother" died it would kill Bella? What complete and utter nonsense. No. It would set her free. Free from all the pain she's been suffering from ever since that filthy bloodsucker left her alone in the woods six months ago. Free to heal once and for all. She would be free to love _me_. No more hurting. No more pain. No more _competition_. No more resistance. I could finally have my chance!

But the other leech was on her way here- I was sure. I had to hurry and get Bella on my side of the treaty line so she couldn't get to Bella. I also had to delay the leech as much as I could. "I'll tell her," I said, and immediately hung up.

I carefully picked up Bella and carried her to my car, placing her in the passenger seat. I climbed in and sped off, hoping the leech was far enough behind that I could make it. I was in luck. I passed into La Push territory before I saw a flash behind me. Looking in the rearview mirror I saw a small vampire with a look of absolute horror on her face. A moment later she ran off in the other direction. Good. Bella continued to sleep. She never needed to be told what happened here, or what I had done today.

I was wrong.

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A/N: Reviews might make Jake see sense (I doubt it). It might bring Edward back. It **will** bring a faster update! (It reminds me I have a story to write)

***_Reading__ New Moon_** is part of a series in which the 7 Cullens (No Bella) sit down and read the 4 books of the _Twilight _series, which they have been sent, a month prior to Bella moving to Forks. You get to see them react to the situations while they are outside of it. My friend & I are fans of the Reading-Emmett's line in "_Reading Twilight_" in response to Bella's comment "Nothing better than an irratible grizzly" in the cafeteria, Reading-Emmett exclaims "This girl understands me!"

Author has also done "Reading Midnight Sun" where Jake and Bella read the offical version only after she arrives in Forks (A few days early). And finally there is the latest "Eternal Sunrise": what will happen now that they meet in person? All stories are complete.

"Choices HP" can be found in my "Favorite Authors" and _Reading__ Twilight, __Reading__ New Moon, _&_ Eternal Sunrise_ are in my Story Favorites. I'd look in Authors, I have fewer authors than stories. ;-)


	2. 2: Alice's Visions

Disclaimer:

This is a sand castle I built in _**Stephenie Meyer's**_ sand box. The sand is hers, the castle is mine.

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**Chapter 2: Alice's POV**

I had been off hunting alone yesterday when I was suddenly hit with a horrible vision. I saw Bella standing at the top of a cliff that was at least a hundred feet high. Bella smiled and a serene, peaceful look came over her features- right before she jumped off that hundred-foot-high-cliff! After she hit the water her future had totally disappeared, the same way it does when someone dies. I broke down sobbing for an hour before I could gather enough strength to go home and tell the rest of my family.

It was a rather large blow to the family's already low morale and it hit everyone hard- except Rosalie who had been rather indifferent. Emmett had actually tried to deny it before storming out to take his anger out on the forest. Jasper had looked so distraught- and though he tried to hide it I could tell he felt guilty. He had been the catalyst that drove Edward to finally leave Bella. I had tried to tell him that Edward was just waiting for and excuse, he was always going to leave her at some point. Esmé had also broken down sobbing; she still loved Bella like a daughter regardless of Edward's attempts to separate our eighth family member from the rest of the family. Carlisle had looked _lost_ for what must have been the first time I have ever seen; he always seemed to know what to do. He had wanted to support Edward and let him make his own decisions, "He's over a century old and can make- _must make_- these choices for himself!" but now it has led to the death of the very person Edward's choice had been designed to protect. When Esmé had begun to dry-sob, the only kind of crying vampires are capable of, the lost look faded as he gathered Esmé in his arms and held her. After a few minutes he had turned to me and gave me a look that said "_Are you__** absolutely**__ sure?_" to which I nodded, there was no future for Bella starting just after she lands in the water.

After things calmed down a little bit or at least the shock factor was over, I decided to leave for Forks so I could check on Charlie. I had packed a small travel bag with a couple changes of clothes- I was in a hurry and could always shop for more later. I was driving Carlisle's Mercedes to Forks. I was hoping, futilely, that by going there in person I could somehow erase my vision or prove it false. I knew better but I could not help it. I wanted my best friend back. I had survived the past six months slightly better off than the rest of the family only because the vision of Bella as a vampire was still there and crystal clear. I could look at that vision and know we would return to Bella sooner or later. Nevertheless, I had missed her just as much- if not more so, than everyone else except Edward. No one could miss Bella more than him even if our separation was his fault he was the most hurt from it.

This will kill Edward- he's been so lifeless since he left Bella; if he knew there was no possibility of returning to her presence ever again...We will have to wait until Edward returns home before we can tell him the catastrophically devastating news. If he were to learn of this while none of the family was there with him, there is no doubt in my mind he'd be on the next flight to Italy unless Emmett and Jazz are there to stop him. I had not been happy seeing those remote visions from Edward last spring when we were trying to save Bella from James in the Ballet Studio. He had mainly been focused on what he would do to the monster who had dared to target his beloved Bella, but in the back of his mind he had planned what he would do if he failed to get to her in time and she was dead. I had never told anyone not even Jazz about Edward's train of thought on that day, any one of us would be feeling the same way if we lost our mate.

I was about half way to Forks when I could feel the onset of a vision in my mind. I was shocked to see myself standing in the Swan house when suddenly someone ran and jumped on me- with my dark _thirsty _eyes, I noted. It was _Bella_! Alive? How? And why was I only finding out this now? What had stopped me from _seeing_ this before?

Deciding that my answers laid in Forks with the human-Cullen I increased my speed. I now had even more reason to get to Forks.

* * *

I stopped the car outside of Bella's house. Taking a look around I noted that no one was home at the moment- both Bella's truck and Charlie's cruiser were gone. I decided it was best to take an hour to quickly hunt before they came home.

After catching and draining two decent sized Elk, I was just starting back to Bella's house when I received a new vision.

_In what appeared to be an old stone castle it was a room to both impress and intimidate guests. On a dais on the far side of the room and sitting on chairs so grand they could practically be called thrones- which I found ironic since the people they were meant for had no need to sit, on those chairs were three ancient vampires with long, elaborate robes and long, flowing hair. The vampires of the Volturi coven and their castle in Volterra! Around them were various members of the Volturi guard. Only in the Vegetarian covens, us Cullens and our cousins the Denali's could you find similar numbers of vampires in one place getting along. Chelsea of the Volturi had an ability that helped the Volturi gain new members and keep everyone loyal and peaceful, at least with each other._

_And then through the doors on the opposite side of the room entered another member of the guard- and he was escorting someone familiar. Edward! If I had not been keeping a close eye on him ever since he left Bella and the rest of us I might not have recognized him- not for a few seconds at least. The one difference from when I last "saw" him was his clothes; for the first time in weeks they were clean, even new. Despite his new attire the clothing seemed to hang off his frame rather than fit perfectly as was normal. He looked like a man who had lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time- he looked_ sick_, and more like a zombie than a vampire. His eyes were darker than I had _**ever**_ seen them- he had not hunted in weeks, months, possibly not at all since he left Bella (except when he had hunted for Victoria). And worst of all was the look in his eyes; they were dead- not filled with pain or anger or fear, they were not masked as when he was hiding, just empty as if there was no one in there. _

_The vision swam a bit as it did what I referred to as 'fast-forwarding' through the next few minutes of the scene rather than playing them out in 'real-time' the scene ran even faster than it had been going and too fast for even a vampire to follow everything. (Now I know what Bella feels like when we speak at a speed just a little bit too fast for her to keep up but still slow enough to catch a word or phrase here and there.) Despite the increased speed in 'fast-forward' mode I still pick the gist of what is happening, but if my vision is in fast-forward mode it generally means that the minutes are not important. By the time it was back in focus and playing out in real-time again Edward and Aro had finished with the required introductions and pleasantries. Aro had also asked after Carlisle and Edward had given as polite and complete a reply as he could manage but I could hear the terse tint to his voice that his manners forbid him to fully show. I could tell because of how well I knew my brother- and he was normally far more formal and more eloquent in his politeness. _

"_I've come to ask for a favor," Edward said in a hoarse voice that was filled with anguish. "I cannot stand another minute in this…life, not anymore. Please, kill-…destroy me, my worthless body- end my existence, whatever you want to call it! Just…please!" Edward's tone was begging by the time he finished his request, unable to keep his desperation hidden in his anguish._

"_But why? What reason do you have for wanting to end your existence, Edward Cullen?" Aro asked him._

_Edward took a moment to pull himself together and compose himself enough to attempt to answer Aro before he spoke. His voice still broke throughout the explanation. "My…My-… (Sigh)…mate-… Bella- she was-…she- ," finally he stopped, to chocked up to continue. My brother also realized that he was incapable of speaking the words of his explanation to the Volturi what caused him to come before them to request the one thing that he knew no member of our family ever would consider granting. His grief was causing the ever-eloquent Edward to lose his ability to string even three words together; and I knew he could not bear to repeat the word that now described Bella, (or so he thought!) even if it was probably playing on repeat in his mind. Instead of trying to continue his verbal explanation Edward shook his head- signifying he could not finish his story aloud- and raised his palm up in Aro's direction offering it to him. _

_Aro raised his eyebrow but walked forward and placed his hand on top of my brother's. I knew a little about Aro's power from Carlisle's stories about his time with the Volturi- he hated their feeding practices but at the time it was not possible for vampires to hide in human society like we do today. At least the Volturi had been otherwise civilized and by staying there he had access to that civilization including a massive library from which he could study science and medicine or anything else. Aro's talent is similar to Edward's in that he reads thoughts; however, he requires tactile contact to get a reading- but for that one touch he can gain far more information from the mind than Edward is capable of. Edward can read everyone's thoughts with a one-to-two mile radius (depending on the familiarity with a person) - whatever they are thinking at that time- _in **that** moment, _he can hear that thought. Aro doesn't have that chronological limitation- he can read any thought (or more likely memory) the individual he touches has_ **ever** _had- from birth to the moment Aro came into contact with them. Imagine if you could combine the two powers into a single power. I'll take the mind-readers with limits thank-you!_

"_I see, yes. Yes I can understand you must be in great pain. But it is not the end of the world, Edward. There are others who have lost their mates- they did not go find another immortal to turn them to ashes. And what of your Bella? I saw what she asked of you, she would not want you to do this," Aro said. Could I detect a note of false sincerity in his voice?_

"_And I refused to make that promise to her. I knew it would be one that I would eventually break- that I would_ have_ to break and here I am," he replied. I had no idea what promise he was talking about- but it appeared as though at some point he had told Bella about his plans if he had not been able to get to her in time to save her from James. And predictably, to anyone but Edward, she had been horrified or angry and had told him that in the future he was not to actually go to the Volturi (or otherwise attempt to die). And he did not promise, most likely doing a word-dance to avoid lying to her._

_Aro seemed to ponder his next response very carefully. "And if I did grant your request, Edward Cullen? What would Carlisle think of me? I would hate to anger such a friend as he." _

"_They will know this is my choice. I have no other options, and they will understand this."_

"_Ah, but what I were to _give _you another option? You talent would be of great use in the guard. You could have a new home here."_

_Edward's reply was almost cutting in its sharpness, "I'm afraid without Bella I am of no use to anyone. Now that she has left this plane I will follow- as I told her I would. There is nothing left for me here, and I would be unable to perform any task more complex than breathing. No, I must decline."_

_After a few moments of pondering Aro finally responded, "My brothers and I will need time to deliberate. Feel free to socialize with the members of the guard currently in the castle or to wander around. We will send for you once we have come to a decision." _

And with that my vision faded out. Only a minute or two had past since it started.

Quickly I picked up my phone and called Bella's home number while I started running for her house. I had no idea how my brother had learned of her "death" which I now knew was not a death but had waited to confirm it either way before calling the family. I didn't want to put them through extra heartache if it turned out I was wrong, I needed to see her with my own eyes or have Charlie tell me she had died. Surely none of my family had been stupid enough as to call Edward to tell him about Bella's 'death'? But for now I needed Bella- she was the only one who would be able to convince Edward she was alive. I only hoped she was willing to save my brother.

"Hello?" said a voice that was practically barking into the phone. It was definitely not Bella and it wasn't Charlie either.

"I need to speak to Bella, now!" I nearly shrieked in return. I was frantic, I needed Bella and we had no time to loose. Every second that went by was a second closer to loosing Edward.

"She's sleeping and I'm not waking her right now. Who's calling?" he asked, voice still sharp. Whoever he was he was starting to get on my nerves. His mere voice made me feel defensive and want to growl- I pushed back the instinct.

"I'm Alice Cullen and this is an emergency! Wake Bella now, please! We don't have much time to stop him! She is the only one who can get to him and the only one that he'll believe. _Please_!" I was getting hysterical and wished I had Jasper here to clam me down. On the other hand he would probably be blaming himself a bit for this as well, and I didn't need to deal with his guilt on top of everything else.

"I'm _not_ waking her; she's recovering from an accident. So do you want to leave a _message_?" he said in a rough voice as if it came through gritted teeth. Something told me not to trust this man- I still did not know who this was.

Hoping he at least cared about Bella I tried to convince him I had her best interest at heart- which was true. "Her _life_ is at stake! If he succeeds in getting himself killed _she. Will. Die_! I can't lose either of them – never mind both!" I was beyond hysterical now.

He must have pondered that for a moment and decided to listen to me. "Explain, quickly!"

"Edward thinks that Bella is dead. He can't live without her and is going to get himself killed. The only way he can do that is to go to Italy and provoke a powerful coven that will kill him. Therefore we have time to stop him. If he dies, Bella will die. They're bonded. He doesn't realize that or he would _know_ she is alive! He won't believe me if I go to him; he won't believe anyone else in our family either because he knows we'll try to stop him either way! He'll only believe it if he _sees_ Bella!" I was desperate to make him believe, to make him see the truth. I had already lost them both- if that became permanent I didn't know what I'd do. I didn't know why I felt safe to share as much as I did, but I pushed it aside, deciding to worry about later.

"I'll tell her," h said, and immediately hung up. But I knew I could not trust this man to tell Bella. I didn't have a vision, just a really bad feeling. I looked to Bella's future- to my surprise it had disappeared. I just knew the man on the phone was somehow responsible for that, how I did not know. I also knew he was trouble for Bella and Edward.

When I finally got closer to the house I heard a car door close and then the car pull away I ran after it- needed to know who it was that had stopped me from speaking to Bella. The car crossed the treaty line a few minutes later. So it was a wolf that had stopped me from helping my sister. I could see his face in the mirror, it had changed a bit since I last saw it but I could recognize it as Jacob Black, a friend of Bella's. He would pay for this. I knew this would kill her, just as I know knew she was currently alive since I could smell her.

But for now all I could do was turn around and try and save my brother. I did not expect to succeed without Bella there. But I had to try all the same.

* * *

AN: I greatly debated the issue of whether or not Edward took the time to change clothes before either boarding the plane or appearing before the Volturi. On the one hand, his grief was so great nothing mattered. On the other hand he would not want to appear too savage and frighten the humans in the airport or on the plane. Finally I decided despite his grief he was a Cullen and would keep up appearances- he would not be Edward otherwise.


	3. 3: Edward 1, Gone?

SPECIAL NOTE: This chapter is NOT DONE. But given my tendencies to forget about it or to lose my muse & motivation I decided to post what I had in the meantime.

Disclaimer: _Regrets_ is a sand castle I built in **Stephenie Meyer's** sand box. The sand is hers, the castle is mine.

**Special Disclaimer:** I have borrowed part of _**Rosalie's News**_ by Stephenie Myer, located on her webpage. Most of what appears is direct quote, though parts are skipped and some alterations occur to fit with my design better. Look for the ZzZzZ to indicate the start/end of where _**R.N.**_ lines were taken.

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**Chapter 3: Edward 1, Gone?**

A vampire is incapable of sleeping, becoming unconscious and putting their worries and troubles aside to dream of happier times. Vampires have no need for to spend eight hours (one-third of a day!) in bed to rest every night. The only reason to have one is if the vampire shares one with their mate, or spouse if you prefer. Not only that but a vampire's brain is designed to process much more information in a shorter amount of time than a human and it came with perfect memory recall. With the enhanced senses that can hear footsteps a mile away, smell even more acute than any dog, see leaf in the forest or blade of grass in a field with perfect clarity even while running at speeds of sixty miles per hour or more, the brain also must be enhanced to process the new information and filter it out as required.

I have always known I am a monster, a demon, and as such tend to hate anything that reminds me of the differences between humans and vampires, anything that reminds me of my demonic nature. Despite this fact, I have also tried to do as Carlisle taught me and count some of the abilities given as advantages rather than curses. The lack of sleep gave me plenty of time to work on my music or read. The extra brain power and perfect memory nearly negated the need for studying in college courses- in high school studying was never needed. That was a benefit I enjoyed.

So I had never had much cause to complain about my perfect memory, extra brain power, or even my inability to sleep. Not until this last six months that is; when I had done the most unthinkable thing, all to set _**her**_ free. I had separated myself from my beautiful Bella. I had left her, broken, alone, and though I tried not to hear it- crying out for me. Her belated cries had reached my ears despite the distance I had quickly placed between us after giving her one last kiss on her forehead. Now, because I had no chance of sleep and a brain that is always thinking of half a dozen things at once and never forgets, I replayed that scene so many times. There was a gaping hole where my heart once beat- only bigger than I had ever thought such a hole could be. The ache in my chest cried out day and night for Bella, begging me to run back to where I belonged. But no- I did _not_ belong there; not anymore.

After the- _incident_- with my brother losing control over a drop of blood and attacking Bella, I had made up my mind. It had always been dangerous to be with her, to keep her around a family of seven vampires. I had pushed that aside so long as there was a bigger danger I could protect her from. When the danger had come from my own brother, and I had just made it worse by not being careful with her, I knew my time with that angle was up. I had let my beautiful Bella go- but in order to do it I had been forced to tell her the blackest of lies to ever pass anyone's lips much less mine when speaking to Bella.

I had known she would not let go, but she had to if this was to have any chance of success. I had debated what to say, how I would put it. I had hoped that she would just let me go so that I would not be forced to use my last resort. I had tried several times to get her to let me go before giving in and effectively drawing my gun and shooting her in the heart. I had not been able to say the actual words of the thing I was trying to get her to believe- and had she pushed and refused to believe unless I said them I would have been incapable of saying them still and even I did not know what would have happened then. I had said enough, however, to get her to believe.

I had seen it in her eyes; she believed I did not love her anymore if ever. My reaction to her belief and the look of pain on her face had been automatic. [_"Of course, I'll always love you," I said while finishing in my head:_ always, my Bella._ But now I had to falsely clarify that sentiment to her or what I had managed to say to make her let go before was pointless. __ "…In a way." _The same way I have always loved you, with all my heart_. __"But what happened the other night made me realize that its time for a change. Because I'm…_tired_of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human," _and it is time for you to see that, Bella._ "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I prayed this helped heal some of the damage I had caused._]*

And now here I was six months later. I had left my family once they left Forks- I had joined them only long enough to tell then I was not staying, how could I stay in a home with three happily mated couples? I have not hunted in six weeks. Indeed I had not even moved if I could help it. I had been curled up into a ball of pain locked in an endless debate with myself on whether to stay here or go back to Forks, back to Bella. The only thing the debate had accomplished was to make me feel sorry for anyone who had ever tried to make me change my mind- I was a stubborn bastard. The endless debate was between me and myself- stubborn bastards and neither one would give in and go away. One me was the same who won the debate last September, the one who wanted Bella safe and happy and human and knew that I was a monster she should stay away from before I destroyed her. The other was the one who was selfish and just wanted to be with Bella, and he was using any argument he could, 'Maybe just check and see that she _is_ safe and happy'. And still Bella's pain filled face flashed over and over again in my memories.

I did not answer my phone when it rang, not the first time and not the dozen times after that. I did not want to deal with my family right now. But eventually my worrying nature got the better of me and I had to check and see who was so persistent to get a hold of me when they knew better and why they were calling. I was not pleased that it was merely Rosalie and she seemed to have no reason for calling other than to bother me and further my misery. At least that is what I thought at first. Her news that Alice was in Forks was confusing and seemed to have no purpose. How I wished afterwards that she had _only_ called to bother me.

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ

"Edward? Don't you even care why Alice is there?" Rose asked me.

"Not particularly," I replied, my voice dead.

Rosalie answered anyway with a smug tone, "Well, of course she's not exactly breaking the rules. I mean, you only warned us to stay away from Bella, right? The rest of Forks doesn't matter."

Now I was really confused. Bella had left Forks? I guessed she had gone to live in Jacksonville with her mother. That was a nice, warm, sunny place; she should live in sunshine.

"So you don't need to be angry with Alice," Rosalie's voice interrupted my musings.

"Then why call me, Rosalie, if not to get Alice in trouble? Why are you bothering me? Ugh!"

Before I could hang up Rosalie shouted, "Wait! That's not why I called."

"Then why? Tell me quickly, and then _leave me alone_," I said.

We exchanged more words as I tried to figure out what she wanted. Finally I dragged it out of her.

"Forks was never the problem, Rosalie," Really, how self-involved was she to _not_ see that? "Just because Bella has moved to Florida, doesn't mean I'm able…" I couldn't be with them nor could I truly explain to my family that I could no longer to stand to be in their presence having now known my mate and not to be with her now while they each still enjoyed their own mate's company. "Look, Rosalie. I really am sorry, but trust me it wouldn't make anyone happier if I were there." I'd probably depress the whole family, even Rose if I brought Emmett down.

"Um…" Rose made a noise to indicate she had something more to say but she hesitated nervously. Again.

"What is it that you're not telling me, Rosalie? Is Esmé alright?" The broken pieces of my heart clenched more at the thought of the woman who had been a mother to me for nearly eighty years. "Is Carlisle-," Thankfully she cut me off.

"They're fine. It's just…well, I didn't say that Bella _moved_." I tried to process this information. Bella was not in Forks, Rose had said. She must have moved, but Rose said she did not. Where else would she be?

Rosalie's next words were rushed and angry. "They didn't want to tell you, but I think that's stupid. The quicker you get over this, the sooner things can go back to normal. Why let you mope around the dark corners of the world when there's no need for it? You can come home now. We can be a family again. It's over."

What the hell was she talking about? Get over what, the loss of my soul mate? Was she so blind that she could not see there was no way for me to "get over it"? This was not some human romance, this was me: a vampire who walked the Earth for more than a hundred years before I found my Bella. What if I took Emmett away from her and told her to "get over it"? And still, her words made little sense. There was something there, like a firefly flickering in the dark I could just barely see it. But my brain refused to look, refused to grasp, to understand the deeper complexities of the situation. Not until someone shoved my nose in it. As if it knew already what I would find once I looked.

"Edward?"

"I don't understand what you're saying, Rosalie," I told her.

"She's dead, Edward." _What?_ "I'm sorry. You have a right to know, though, I think. Bella…threw herself of a cliff two days ago. Alice saw it, but it was too late to do anything. I think she would have helped, though, broken her word, if there had been time. She went back to do what she could for Charlie. You know she's always cared for him- ,"

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZ

Her words finally cut off and I belated realized it was because the phone had gone dead- because I had hung up on her. If my pain of the last six months was a gaping hole- it was nothing compared to the complete _agony_ now tearing through my body. I would have taken the burning of the Change (turning into a vampire) a billion times over this. The pain I now felt made my earlier 'pain' seem like a paper cut, versus now I had numerous severe lacerations.

I called Bella's house to confirm Rosalie's words, praying she was cruel enough to lie or joke about this. But no- a strange male voice had told me that Charlie was at the funeral. And my pain doubled at his words.

Before doing anything else, I took a moment to do something I had not done since I was a human boy. I got on my knees and prayed. I had no right to expect either God or Bella to listen to me, but I had to speak the truth now. I had to apologize to her. I prayed to the Father to take my Bella in His arms and care for her as I once had tried to do. As I had _failed_ to do. I apologized repeatedly for failing in that which had been my only goal since I had laid eyes on Bella fifteen months ago, for failing to keep her safe. I then turned my attentions to Bella herself. I told her I lied that afternoon last September, when I implied that I had no love for her. I told Bella that I had no right to love such an angel as her but I did. I then apologized to both Bella and God for what I was about to do, begging that they understand. And I prayed to God that I got to see my Angel one more time before he sent me to Hell, so I could apologize in person, so to speak.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I know you told me not to do this, but I have been so lost without you by my side. Knowing you were back in Forks, safe and hopefully happy was the only thing that kept me away; and at the same time that knowledge kept me going. I _**cannot**_ go on in this existence without you. And since my existence has no natural end I have no other option. Please, my love, forgive me. I will join you in death, even if I cannot be with you in an afterlife." I closed my prayer.

I got up and took my phone quickly checking the current date and time. I then called and booked the earliest available flight to Italy. I ran to the airport- dodging humans as I went, and dumping my phone along the way. I made one stop to quickly clean up a little bit. Normally vampires have little need for showers but I had not been living the life I had led with my family and the extended time in such nasty smelling locations had left its mark. I also changed into some freshly bought clothes- I did not want to attract attention or scare the passengers on my flight. That would just bring trouble to my family.

* * *

A/N: Special thanks to Stephanie Myer for posting _**Rosalie's News**_ which I used in this chapter.

*I also borrowed a bit from my own _GoodBye, Bella_, it's between the brackets [ ].

I added the Edward praying scene that I felt possible though may be a bit OOC, but I think it still fits. I meant to gloss the scene over do to the fact that prayer was done different in his time, but then he started babbling on me!


	4. AN Story Status

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: 11/13/12**

I hereby apologize to everyone who was hoping that one of my stories was getting a much needed update. I decided after so long without a word that a final author's note was needed. I am sorry, but depression, moving, and other things have gotten in the way of any writing I might have done. Some of some stories simply fizzled out without a goal and I had nowhere to go; others I simply lost the energy to work on them. So this note is to let you know if your story is ever gonna get worked on again.

The good news is that a recent change in location and housemates has done wonders for me in this area at least. Unfortunately, for me, it also meant the semester off, and I have finally run out of things to read in fan fiction. I could and have found something new, but for a few days I ran out of patience in finding something, and decided to write.

A new writing project has got me writing again. This gives new hope to all my incomplete stories. Some more than others.

So Here's where I stand on all my stories:

**A Vampire Beginning:**

I am sorry if you've been reading this. When I started I had a specific scene I wanted to write and decided to start at the beginning instead. The desire to write that one scene kept me motivated for a while, and afterward I had a few good ideas still in my head. But after I typed them up, I ran out. I'm just not sure how to end it gracefully. So there you have it. I will try and come up with some way of transitioning it to end.

* * *

**GoodBye Bella: **This story was merely a One-shot and is complete, be happy.

* * *

**Heart-to-Heart:**

This idea has kinda fizzled out. At the time it was a great idea that popped into my head, as I've loved reading all the scattered scenes in all the re-writes I've read, but I just can't get motivated. Sorry.

* * *

**I Never Promised You A Rose Garden:**

This is my New Doctor Who project that I am so excited about. I've been working hard on it. I am so busy that I had to break up chapter 1 because I was afraid chapter 2 would bee too short in comparison. The now chapter 3 is half way done, and about the length of the first and second chapter! I'm not bothering to break it up- Too hard to rename it!

* * *

**Kenobi's Certain Point Of View: **This was meant to be a simple one-shot Star Wars fic. It is complete.

* * *

**Letters From Hogwarts:**

I probably should delete this story. It's not very good and not my best work. Someday I may go back and try again, but I have no plans to do so right now. Consider it done.

* * *

**Life After the Epilogue: **This one is embarrassing. But the things I mention relate to my other Potter story, which is the only reason I don't delete it.

* * *

**Potter's Daughters and the Time Vortex:**

No, not a Doctor Who cross over. And Don't worry, I haven't forgotten this story. I know it has been a long time since you've gotten an update, and it will be a while longer till I work on it again. No new movies or books to encourage me. Maybe my new wand will. But I remember what I want to do with this. The only question is if I should go back and do it better. Someday I'll get back to this. For now, however, it is on hold.

* * *

**Regrets:**

Another story I have not touched in a long time. However, do not fret. I do remember what I want to do with this. Someday I will sit down and work on this again. Seeing Breaking Dawn 2 should get my thirst for Twilight going. That is your best hope.

* * *

**The Unwelcome Kiss, AU:**

I wrote this cause I can't stand the cocky mutt. Not that B and E didn't tick me off in that book too, but the mutt most of all. And Charlie. Bella should have punched him, too! But I had trouble writing it. If I ever fix it, I'll put it up.

* * *

**They Always Survive:**

My first Doctor Who Story that I began after seeing Amy's reaction to Daleks getting away in "Victory of the Daleks" and attempting to comfort the Doctor. She bugged me and I wanted to write about it. But as always I decided to make it bigger and started back at the beginning. Although motivated to write this story I was incapable of writing much at the time I began this story and never got past the first chapter. I am ADD and have been off my meds for months due to moving I haven't found a new doctor! Anyway, that has been fixed, but my attention is on my other story at the moment.

When I come to the episodes that involve Daleks I will try to also write in this one at the same time. So expect updates soon, but slowly.


End file.
